Avoid Doing these Things to your Man

By Carolyn Kylstra
(from MSN Lifestyle)

A study from Purdue University found that when men feel they're being treated unfairly, they gain more weight over time than women do. Here are five things you might be doing that give him major anxiety, and how you can keep him sane (and slim) without sacrificing your own peace of mind.



1. You Hold a Grudge
People whose partners recover well from fights report higher relationship satisfaction, according to research published in the journal Psychological Science. Unfortunately, the reverse is also true: When you hold on to and keep bringing up past beef, even after the fight is supposedly resolved, your dude is going to be unhappy in the relationship.

Do This Instead: When you're having an argument, address only the specific problem at hand, and resist bringing up issues in the past or perceived patterns of behavior based on one or two unrelated incidents. To that end, avoid the words never or always, as in, "You never want to hang out with my friends," or "You always forget to take out the trash."

2. You Issue an Ultimatum
Fighting is never fun, but fighting dirty drives him totally coo-coo. Researchers from Baylor University found that the way a person perceives his partner's emotions during an argument impacts how he feels. Specifically, when he senses that you're trying to assert power (by being hostile, critical, blaming, or controlling), he takes it as a threat — which triggers major stress on his part. Delivering an ultimatum is the prime example of you trying to dominate the relationship: Do this, or I'll leave you. It leaves him feeling powerless...and furious.

Do This Instead: Explain how his actions affect you, rather than issuing an order. Say something along the lines of, "It makes me feel like you don't care about me when ______." Besides, wouldn't you rather he fix his mistakes because he wants to, rather than because he has to?

3. You Give Him the Silent Treatment
That same Baylor University study discovered that people get upset when their partners act distant and cold. Freezing him out makes him feel neglected, another source of stress.

Do This Instead: If you're the type of person who needs to clear her head before you have a serious talk, tell him straight up that you need a breather, give him a specific length of time (fifteen minutes, one day), and then promise that you'll discuss the situation at the end of that time.

4. You Bite His Head Off After a Long Day
Surprisingly, guys are a lot more vulnerable to relationship ups and downs than women are, according to a Wake Forest University study. Researchers believe it's because women have an outlet to express their concerns — we turn to our friends — whereas for guys, their significant other tends to be their primary source of intimate conversation. So when you're acting a little bit nutty, he has no one to turn to talk about it.

Do This Instead: Check yourself before you snap at him for something silly. Are you actually stressed out or annoyed for an unrelated reason, like work or friend drama, and just taking it out on him? It might seem like not a big deal, but when you let your feelings run wild, you may end up hurting him more than he lets on.

5. You Play It Too Cool
You already know that acting needy is a turn-off ... but pulling away too much can also backfire. Recent research published in Psychological Science reveals that couples get rocky when one person's commitment level is different from the other's. While it's true that not returning his text for a day or two will pique his interest if you're still in the early dating stages, once you're in a committed relationship, it's just going to make his cortisol levels skyrocket.


Do This Instead: Ditch the games, especially after you're official. While it's definitely good to have your own life apart from him (weekly girls' night, spinning class, etc.), the only time it makes sense to purposely distance yourself is if he's pulling away a bit. In that case, creating some space ups a guy's interest; any other time, it just makes him feel anxious and confused.

U.S. Busted Child Porn Network

AFP NewsBy Mark Wilson | AFP News

US officials Wednesday unveiled charges against 72 people in their largest global probe into Internet child pornography which smashed a "nightmare" online bulletin board catering to pedophiles.

The investigation launched in 2009 has led to arrests in the US and 13 other countries of participants in Dreamboard, which had a "VIP" ranking system for members trading in graphic images and videos of adults molesting children age 12 and under, often violently, the Justice Department said.



"Dreamboard's creators and members lived all over the world -- but they allegedly were united by a disturbing belief that the sexual abuse of children is proper conduct that should not be criminalized," Attorney General Eric Holder said.

"The members of this criminal network shared a demented dream to create the preeminent online community for the promotion of child sexual exploitation, but for the children they victimized, this was nothing short of a nightmare."

The ongoing probe has led to the arrest of 52 people in the US and 13 other countries -- Canada, Denmark, Ecuador, France, Germany, Hungary, Kenya, the Netherlands, the Philippines, Qatar, Serbia, Sweden and Switzerland.

Thirteen of the 52 individuals arrested have pleaded guilty, and 20 of the 72 individuals charged "remain at large and are known only by their online identities," a Justice Department statement said.

Operation Delego "represents the largest prosecution to date in the United States of individuals who participated in an online bulletin board conceived and operated for the sole purpose of promoting child sexual abuse, disseminating child pornography and evading law enforcement," it said.

"Dreamboard was a self-described global 'community' of pedophiles dedicated to the relentless victimization and exploitation of children 12 and under," said Assistant Attorney General Lanny Breuer.

According to the Justice Department, membership was tightly controlled by the site's administrators, who required prospective members to upload child pornography when applying for membership.

Members were then required continually to upload images of child sexual abuse in order to keep up their membership in the board, which included rules of conduct printed in English, Russian, Japanese and Spanish.

Some of the children featured in the images and videos were just babies, said Holder.

"And, in many cases, the children being victimized were in obvious, and intentional, pain -- even 'in distress and crying,' just as the rules for one area of the bulletin board mandated," he added.

All 72 of the defendants are charged with conspiring to advertise and distribute child pornography, and 50 are also charged with engaging in a child pornography enterprise.



"Dreamboard members allegedly used the power and anonymity of the Internet to motivate each other to commit their horrific acts of sexual abuse of minors and trading in child pornography," Breuer said.

According to court documents, members employed a variety of methods to conceal their activities, using "screen names" and proxy servers, which can be used to reroute web traffic and disguise a user's actual location.

Dreamboard members also encouraged the use of encryption programs on their computers, which password-protect computer files to prevent law enforcement from accessing them in the event of a court-authorized search.

Officials said the charges and arrests were conducted in three separate phases over the course of the operation.

Four of the 13 individuals who have pleaded guilty for their roles in the conspiracy have been sentenced to prison.

On May 10, Timothy Lee Gentry, 33, of Burlington, Kentucky, was sentenced to 25 years in prison; on May 31, Michael Biggs, 32, of Orlando, Florida, was sentenced to 20 years; on June 22, Michael Childs, 49, of Huntsville, Alabama, was sentenced to 30 years; and on July 14, Charles Christian, 49, of Tilton, Illinois, was sentenced to more than 22 years in prison.

Operation Delego was conducted by the Justice Department with Homeland Security's Immigration and Customs Enforcement, along with other global law enforcement agencies including Eurojust, the European Union's Judicial Cooperation Unit and "dozens of law enforcement agencies throughout the world," the statement said.

Construction Worker's Amazing Voice!

Lunch time in New York has never been the same since Gary Russo, a construction worker sings Frank Sinatra Classics to passerby. The result is an experience most people called 'A Wonderful Moment'. Listen to this man's wonderful talent.



Still Image


Video Report courtesy of Telegraph.co.uk

Interview Mistakes

By Michael Neece, Monster Contributing Writer
from http://career-advice.monster.com



It's tough to avoid typical interview traps if you're unsure what they are. Here are six to watch out for.

1. Confusing an Interview with an Interrogation
Most candidates expect to be interrogated. An interrogation occurs when one person asks all the questions and the other gives the answers. An interview is a business conversation in which both people ask and respond to questions. Candidates who expect to be interrogated avoid asking questions, leaving the interviewer in the role of reluctant interrogator.

2. Making a So-Called Weakness Seem Positive
Interviewers frequently ask candidates, "What are your weaknesses?" Conventional interview wisdom dictates that you highlight a weakness like "I'm a perfectionist," and turn it into a positive. Interviewers are not impressed, because they've probably heard the same answer a hundred times. If you are asked this question, highlight a skill that you wish to improve upon and describe what you are doing to enhance your skill in this area. Interviewers don't care what your weaknesses are. They want to see how you handle the question and what your answer indicates about you.

3. Failing to Ask Questions
Every interview concludes with the interviewer asking if you have any questions. The worst thing to say is that you have no questions. Having no questions prepared indicates you are not interested and not prepared. Interviewers are more impressed by the questions you ask than the selling points you try to make. Before each interview, make a list of five questions you will ask. "I think a good question is, ‘Can you tell me about your career?'" says Kent Kirch, director of global recruiting at Deloitte. "Everybody likes to talk about themselves, so you're probably pretty safe asking that question."

4. Researching the Company But Not Yourself
Candidates intellectually prepare by researching the company. Most job seekers do not research themselves by taking inventory of their experience, knowledge and skills. Formulating a list of accomplishments prepares you to immediately respond to any question about your experience. You must be prepared to discuss any part of your background. Creating your talent inventory refreshes your memory and helps you immediately remember experiences you would otherwise have forgotten during the interview.

5. Leaving Your Cellphone On
We may live in a wired, always-available society, but a ringing cellphone is not appropriate for an interview. Turn it off before you enter the company.

6. Waiting for a Call
Time is your enemy after the interview. After you send a thank-you letter to every interviewer, follow up a couple of days later with either a question or additional information. Try to contact the person who can hire you, and assume that everyone you met with has some say in the process. Additional information can be details about your talents, a recent competitor's press release or industry trends. Your intention is to keep everyone's memory of you fresh.

Image Source: www.ebizstrat.com